Monday, January 21, 2008

Through the dendrites and the axons

I can't sleep.  For me that statement has been the beginning of many thought experiments, emotional breakdowns, solo adventures and realizations.  Right now is no different than the previous insomnia induced experiences I've had, except now I have a blog.

*please excuse the stream of thought style that I'm using right now; my mind is working overtime.

I can't help but wonder who, if anyone, has been reading my blog.  Is my work bookmarked on the top of web browsers?  Who are you, you anonymous group.  Reading my thoughts, walking hand in hand with me as I live, but never showing yourselves.  I wonder if you are reading this, but I can't even mention your name or contact you without opening a proverbial can of worms.  Why is it I think of you at such random times?

I love the sound of the train rumbling along its tracks a few blocks away.

Why are some people so artistically well endowed?  I may have some middling talent in painting or drawing, but I still lack virtually all artistic sense.  I'm not sure how well I can describe this artistic prodigy, as subjective as my definition of them is.  They dress impeccably; constantly pushing the boundaries of fashion, but always remaining indy-cool.  They pull off clothing, hair styles, makeup, and even lifestyles that the bulk of us could never pull off.  All of their photographs have that certain edge, and their writing, even if it is a grammatical and literary mess, draws the reader to a place they only wish they could remain.  I won't attain this, and I can only hope to be close to it throughout my life.

Why do people listen to depressing music, especially when they are in a good mood?  I do it just as much as anyone else does, and I have no clue why.  It's not that I want to feel sad, but those songs just put a feeling in my chest that is oh so bittersweet and I can't resist it.

Stop, right now, and think about the present.  Each second that passes is gone forever, and gone with it is everything that has happened.  You will never live this day again, and when midnight strikes this day will continue to exist only in bits and pieces throughout your memory.  Don't let this through you off or overwhelm you, but keep it in mind as you go about your life.  Don't forget that no matter what, no matter how bad or good things get, time will continue to fall away from us at a steady pace.  Each moment only lasts just that, and is then pushed into the non-existent past as a new and equally as short lived moment takes its place.

Are you reading this?

3 comments:

bruce said...

I wrote 43 years ago something like you just wrote

Oliver said...

Are you ever losing it...

Shannon said...

I dont know who "you" is...but im reading:) that was by far the best blog entry you have ever made...it gave me butterflies... I might be in love with you ;)