Apathetic, misanthropic, unsympathetic; all of these could probably be used to describe me. I don't know why it is, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like I have trouble caring about people. I really don't know why this is, and to a certain degree I wish it wasn't so. It's possible that it has something to do with my past, or maybe I'm just different than the rest. It's not only that I have little or no sympathy for the poor across the world whom are living in third world conditions, these feels (or lack thereof) seem to be making their way into my everyday life. This could have something to do with my recent thoughts about marriage; I've been thinking that perhaps I'm not 'cut out' for relationships because of this lack of care. Maybe someone can change me, or perhaps it's only a phase; you tell me.
One a different note, I think I'm dying or something; I'm regularly sleeping 13+ hours a night. I'll just attribute this to jet-lag for now and hope I revert to my normal 8.5 hours a night.
2 comments:
Do you not feel that you would get more joy out of life, however meaningless life/death may seem to you, through caring for others? Or, do you feel that a general lack of care for others is, somehow, protecting you from being hurt?
If I did care, it wouldn't be a natural, 'pure' caring, but a forced one. On my way home from your place I was wondering if this apathy could have something to do with the medication I'm on.
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